The Snow In Princeton
The snow is falling here in Princeton. It's always beautiful when it snows. The snow here can turn any bad day into a magical day. Maybe it's because I'm from the west coast where snow isn't really snow, and where architecture is all new and modern, but something about seeing exquisite buildings covered in a white blanket makes me feel like everything can be right with the world again.
I pulled up my wonderful lounge chair to sit in front of my window and cuddle under a blanket, while looking at the beautiful magic being created before my eyes. It's peaceful and soothing. Two things I have desperately needed in the last two months or so. A lot has changed since I last wrote a blog, and I could spend all of my time updating you on the goings on in my life, but that would just be monotonous, and not at all what I wanted the subject of this blog to be about. Hopefully, you will be able to see some of the changes God has so faithfully brought to my life through the contrast of this blog to my last post.
Sometimes it can take hours, or days, or months of reading your Bible before feeling like God has said anything to pierce your soul. I've been in that place so many times that I am always pleasantly surprised when I have days like today. Today it took me all of four verses to run into something that convicts my life right where it's at.
When I haven't read my Bible for awhile, or I've bought a new Bible, I like to start with Ephesians. Ephesians is like the childhood teddy bear of my Bible reading. It's comforting. The letter starts with a simple introduction. Nothing fancy. It's simply a bunch of reassurances. It's meant to be encouraging. I reach verse 4 and find that I am indeed encouraged.
God chose me. I so often forget that God made a decision to reconcile us to the One we long to be with. I forget that God's decisions are intentional. I allow myself to become just a person. We are not just people. We are loved. We are created. We are chosen. I am baffled that such a mighty being would consider me worthy to be a part of this thing we've chosen to call a family, a fellowship of believers. I am overwhelmed by the divine preciseness, down to the smallest snowflake floating by my window.
When I manage to get past the word chose, I am struck by the them of this verse. Because of God's love, I can sit before my Creator as holy and blameless. How magnificent! And how beautiful! With snow falling all around me, I am sucked into the cliche of being made new, pure, and white as snow. This means that I am radiant, and magical, and breathtaking. Every overwhelming feeling of bliss and wonder I experience because of seeing the snow here in Princeton is something that I somehow project because God's love has overtaken my life. Because of God's love, I am magnificent, majestic, breathtaking, and magical; I am holy and blameless; I am white as snow.
These are daunting truths to understand about ourselves. They come with transformation, and promise, but also responsibility. Thinking about this, writing about this, means nothing if it doesn't change me in some way. The work of the Spirit is so individual and beautiful, I couldn't even begin to explain all the ways this could change a person, but I'll start with me.
The reminders in this verse allow me to shake off guilt that I have carried unnecessarily. In the past 2-3 weeks I have allowed old messages to creep into my head. Poor self-talk. For those of you who know me well, you know how passionate I am about good self-talk. I've not always been great at it, which is probably where all the passion comes from. This poor self-talk has brought undue challenges into my life. I have allowed myself to believe that I am not enough, that I have not been doing enough, that I have let the people in my life down, that I am selfish, and that I have abandoned my family. What is tricky about this, though, is that the messages have been sneaky. They did not take over my mind or my daily life. Quite the contrary. In the past 2-3 weeks, I have been alive and thriving. I have seen growth and change, love and compassion, and the person that I have always known was locked away somewhere inside me. These messages sat quietly under the surface until they had the perfect moment to pounce. I didn't realize that I'd been allowing these messages to subvert my joy and peace until I returned to Princeton.
I've had time to think and reflect on these things for days now. I've had time to reclaim my identity and my strength. I've had time to sit down in front of magical snow and read my Bible, discovering truth in their words and beauty.
God will never be done with me. I am always growing and changing. I am constantly in need of guidance and love, and the guidance of the Spirit is unparalleled. I am grateful that even when the doubts of the world think they are clever, and think they can bring me down, I have this love that overtakes everything. Before I could sit and wallow in my undue guilt and shame, God came and took it away. All of it. Before I could truly believe any of those old messages, I have been reminded, by my love of snow and my love of Ephesians, that I am as breathtaking and blameless as the snow falling form the sky. We are two beautiful creations of God, each bringing our own beauty and wonder to this world.
I pulled up my wonderful lounge chair to sit in front of my window and cuddle under a blanket, while looking at the beautiful magic being created before my eyes. It's peaceful and soothing. Two things I have desperately needed in the last two months or so. A lot has changed since I last wrote a blog, and I could spend all of my time updating you on the goings on in my life, but that would just be monotonous, and not at all what I wanted the subject of this blog to be about. Hopefully, you will be able to see some of the changes God has so faithfully brought to my life through the contrast of this blog to my last post.
Sometimes it can take hours, or days, or months of reading your Bible before feeling like God has said anything to pierce your soul. I've been in that place so many times that I am always pleasantly surprised when I have days like today. Today it took me all of four verses to run into something that convicts my life right where it's at.
When I haven't read my Bible for awhile, or I've bought a new Bible, I like to start with Ephesians. Ephesians is like the childhood teddy bear of my Bible reading. It's comforting. The letter starts with a simple introduction. Nothing fancy. It's simply a bunch of reassurances. It's meant to be encouraging. I reach verse 4 and find that I am indeed encouraged.
"just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love."
God chose me. I so often forget that God made a decision to reconcile us to the One we long to be with. I forget that God's decisions are intentional. I allow myself to become just a person. We are not just people. We are loved. We are created. We are chosen. I am baffled that such a mighty being would consider me worthy to be a part of this thing we've chosen to call a family, a fellowship of believers. I am overwhelmed by the divine preciseness, down to the smallest snowflake floating by my window.
When I manage to get past the word chose, I am struck by the them of this verse. Because of God's love, I can sit before my Creator as holy and blameless. How magnificent! And how beautiful! With snow falling all around me, I am sucked into the cliche of being made new, pure, and white as snow. This means that I am radiant, and magical, and breathtaking. Every overwhelming feeling of bliss and wonder I experience because of seeing the snow here in Princeton is something that I somehow project because God's love has overtaken my life. Because of God's love, I am magnificent, majestic, breathtaking, and magical; I am holy and blameless; I am white as snow.
These are daunting truths to understand about ourselves. They come with transformation, and promise, but also responsibility. Thinking about this, writing about this, means nothing if it doesn't change me in some way. The work of the Spirit is so individual and beautiful, I couldn't even begin to explain all the ways this could change a person, but I'll start with me.
The reminders in this verse allow me to shake off guilt that I have carried unnecessarily. In the past 2-3 weeks I have allowed old messages to creep into my head. Poor self-talk. For those of you who know me well, you know how passionate I am about good self-talk. I've not always been great at it, which is probably where all the passion comes from. This poor self-talk has brought undue challenges into my life. I have allowed myself to believe that I am not enough, that I have not been doing enough, that I have let the people in my life down, that I am selfish, and that I have abandoned my family. What is tricky about this, though, is that the messages have been sneaky. They did not take over my mind or my daily life. Quite the contrary. In the past 2-3 weeks, I have been alive and thriving. I have seen growth and change, love and compassion, and the person that I have always known was locked away somewhere inside me. These messages sat quietly under the surface until they had the perfect moment to pounce. I didn't realize that I'd been allowing these messages to subvert my joy and peace until I returned to Princeton.
I've had time to think and reflect on these things for days now. I've had time to reclaim my identity and my strength. I've had time to sit down in front of magical snow and read my Bible, discovering truth in their words and beauty.
God will never be done with me. I am always growing and changing. I am constantly in need of guidance and love, and the guidance of the Spirit is unparalleled. I am grateful that even when the doubts of the world think they are clever, and think they can bring me down, I have this love that overtakes everything. Before I could sit and wallow in my undue guilt and shame, God came and took it away. All of it. Before I could truly believe any of those old messages, I have been reminded, by my love of snow and my love of Ephesians, that I am as breathtaking and blameless as the snow falling form the sky. We are two beautiful creations of God, each bringing our own beauty and wonder to this world.
Profound
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