Sometimes the Devil Sounds A Lot Like Jesus

“Will you still love me if _______ doesn’t work out?”

Questions like these sound a lot like God. We talk to our Christian brothers and sisters and we say things like, “I really felt God asking me, ‘Am I enough for you?’” And we tell each other about the conviction we felt when we heard God ask that question. We reflect and say things like, “God just showed me that I was placing ______ above my relationship with God. I’m really gonna pray and do better.” We think that this is normal. We have been taught that this is how God works.

Here’s my real question, is that God? Does God do that? Is God manipulative like that? Does God plant a question in our hearts to make us feel guilty, or does God coax us closer by calls of love and redemption?

Friends, I think we’ve believed a lie. Ben Rector said it best when he sang, “Sometimes the devil sounds a lot like Jesus telling me I’m not enough.” The devil certainly does sound a lot like Jesus. The devil, evil, whatever you want to call it, will ask us questions that seem like they will bring us closer to God when they will actually drive us away from the Redeemer who is calling us home.

I felt that first question in my heart today. “Will you still love me if _______ doesn’t work out?” My response was simple. “Of course.” There is no doubt in my mind that I will love God the same whether my desires work out the way I want or whether they crumble in front of my face. God is faithful. I know this to be true.

I began to think deeper about the ridiculousness of this question. I’ve been reading a lot about my Lutheran roots, my Lutheran faith, and Lutheran confessions of faith throughout the years. I have been slammed with God’s love and grace this week, in a time when I have so desperately needed it. I realized that this question was not coming from God; it was coming from me. It was coming from the little devil inside me that wants to believe I am unworthy and that my God is manipulative and strict, asking me questions about my extremely fallible human character. It wants me to believe that I do not love God enough. It wants me to believe that the goodness in my life directly correlates to how put together I am and how spiritually mature I am. It wants me to believe that works righteousness is the real way my God works.

I came to a realization this week that I’ve been afraid of praying lately, not because I’m afraid God will condemn me, but because I’m afraid of receiving nothing but grace and love. Having this nagging question in my heart tells me why that fear exists. I don’t know how to live in a system where God does nothing but lavish love and grace on my life. I want to know and believe that God works within a quid-pro-quo system. It would make my current life circumstances much easier to deal with. I’d be able to blame myself and my lack of spiritual discipline. I’d be able to say, “God just doesn’t think I’m ready, so God won’t bless me in this way yet.” God does not work like that. Yes, God will help me discern what is best, and God will work in ways that I cannot understand, but I have to stop believing that every time my life doesn’t fit my plan it’s because God is punishing me for not being ready. Readiness is not the protocol for everything God gives us in our lives. Sometimes we are so far from ready that we have no choice but to ask God for strength beyond our capacity, guidance beyond our human wisdom, and love to get through the worst days.

There is a real question in the heart of all this: “Will you accept my love when your life falls apart?” That is the question God is asking, and that is the question I am afraid to answer. That is the reason I’m afraid of my prayers and the reason I haven’t been sleeping at night. When my life doesn’t go the way I planned, will I accept God’s love or will I run away?


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